It is a good thing I come from stubborn Pennsylvania-Dutch stock. I am in grief over the loss of the beloved Boo. My beloved Boo. Our beloved Boo – Cowboy Benez and Mr. Pickles. And – some of you may be able to understand this: I’ve lived with seasonal affective disorder nearly my whole life. I don’t get depressed. I become terrified Lots of intrusive thoughts, mental OCD and the almost persistent conviction that I am finally going crazy or, given that I’m 81, descending into Alzheimer’s. The internet is a great sedative for my anxiety.
There is more. Many of my former friends and radical colleagues have moved away. One of my best friends – who is a big part of my sense of emotional security (he knows this), is in the East with family right now. Another of my best friends left Flagstaff a few years ago, though we are still close. Phone and texting aren’t quite hanging out at Macy’s with a cup of perfect coffee. One of my grown children lives in Manila; another in Tokyo; another wayyyyyyy across the country on the East Coast. I’m blessed with neighbor friends – but, you see, I come from German stock and we don’t like to lean on anybody.
And, there is Covid. Meetings (know what I mean? You have to go up steps to get to them. Nudge nudge. Wink wink.) have been my havens and shelters for nearly thirty-five years. Zoom just doesn’t cut it, though I’ll keep trying.
Finally (I’ll spare you the zillions of other things I’m afraid of), there is heavy internet use itself – which, if I understand contemporary brain function theory accurately – can impact our human brains negatively. I can attest to that. What’s worse, I go on-line for comfort and distraction and to feel less alone, and… Draw your own conclusions.
Please write me/us at kali114402001@yahoo.com. I find comfort in hearing other peoples’ stories – not that I would wish my level of anxiety on any of you! And I suspect that more than a few of you understand this Breakthrough all too well.
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